So, my birthday was Saturday. Now don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but is it too much to ask for them to say "Happy Birthday". We (my husband and I) had planned on going up to his families lake house for the weekend with our friends. But when gas jumped so high we decided to change it to hanging out locally at our friends house (let's call them V and K) and enjoying thier company and their pool. We went over last weekend, helped them clean out their pool which looked like a stagnat pond, so that we could all enjoy it. It took us all weekend. Then middle of the week, my husband tells me that K has invited one of her old friends to the party. Ok, great no problem, K has been wanting us all to get together, she is trying to intergrate her old life in houston with her new life here. Again not a problem. The problem came when K made the get together all about her. K didn't invite her old friends so that they could meet me (they had already met my hubby), but so that she could get her tattoo fixed. At that point I almost said screw it and cancel on them at the last minute. but that is not me. So we showed up at their house for what I hoped would be a redeeming moment, but instead the fact that this "party" was supposed to be for my b-day, was completely ignored. Out of the 12 people there, only one told me happy birthday, V. When we pulled in the driveway, everyone that was on the porch, which was everyone there, went into the house like they didn't even see us, except V. When we went in, K never introduced me to her friend, she acted almost like us being there was an inconvience. Once I started talking to K's friend, I really do like her, we have absolutely nothing in common, but she seems like a really nice person. I just don't like K when she is around this friend. K becomes very stuck up and starts talking down to people like they are beneath her. It is annoying and something I don't deal with very well. The longer we were there the more depressed and hurt I became, so finally, my hubby realized that something was wrong and asked if i wanted to leave. I said yes and we said our goodbyes. So now I am stuck with wondering how much of a friend K really is, or if I am just someone to have around to vent to. I am also in the mind set of the only way not to be hurt anymore by people that are supposed to be my friends is to just quit caring about everything that means something to me. I try to care aobut my friends lives, even if I don't understand completely, I still care because they are my friends, but why should I if they don't return the sentment.
The whole time I have been typing this I have thought how much I sound like a selfish spoiled brat. A lot of the reason i feel this way is because I normally just ignore how people have hurt me or walked on me, but I just can't do that anymore. I just don't know how to tell my friend how hurt I am without her either blowing the whole thing off, or telling me that I am being a bitch and to grow up.
While at first I was really excited about going back to school, now I am very apprehensive. The writing style that this university uses is called APA. Now granted I am a psychology major, but I have never heard of APA writing format. It is completely new and I am a little worried about keeping up with my classes since most of my grades will come from papers written in this style. They do have learning tools, a workshop (which I am enrolled in and starting tomorrow), and other things to help me in learning this new style. But I still feel as if I am at a disadvantage. I am hoping that I will feel more confident after the work shop. Especially since my first class starts on the 17th.
I completed my first day of my orientation workshop yesterday. It is definiatly a new learning experience. I took an online course from my local university, but it mirrored a typical classroom course, i.e. reading the text, going over lecture notes online and then taking of all things an open book multiple choice exam online. How crazy is that? Open book, come on, how do I know if I have learned anything by using the book on a test, for that matter, how does the professor? But going to school online is so different. You have reading to do and you actually have assignments that you have to complete and post. It's great.! Not only that, NO multilple choice tests. Great for me since I don't test out real well on them. Instead I will be writing essays about what I have learned and different topics. I can't wait. I love to write and I also get to learn the professional writing style that I will be using in my chosen degree. At the university that I was going to I would not have learned this writing style unless I progressed into a masters program. Now I will have it from the very beginning.
I am also going back and reading my old text books from my psychology classes. Trying to refresh my memory before jumping off into them online. It feels so great to be learning again.
Not only am I excited about school, but I am finally getting my house clean and straight. For many years I have not cared what my house looks like. I let my pets overrun it and didn't really care. Things piled up and clutter is everywhere. But as of today, I have 2 and a half rooms straigt if not complete clean. I still have to mop and clear off some of the cluttered surfaces, but it is starting to look like people really live hear and not just animals.....YEA!!
Well, I finally decided to go back to school to get my BS in Psychology. I have my first orientation workshop today and I will start class on the 17th. I am really excited and really scared all at the same time. I know this is the right time to do this, but I am still apprehensive about whether I will succeed or not. I have tried to return to school before at a traditional college but it didn't work out. The stress level to raise my GPA (it crashed my junior year when I decided partying was more important) or lose my finanical aid was to great. This time I have opted for an online university and feel that this is the way I need to go. As much as I love being in a class room setting, working online and at my own pace seems to be a better option for me. Plus, I won't run the risk of getting a professor that only wants to recite the book to me in a lecture. No multiple choice tests, I will be graded on my writing skills, not how well I can pick out an answer. Believe me, my writing skills are much better than my test taking skills. I don't test out very well. So here goes, I light a candle to guide my steps down this path and ask the Goddess to catch me if i stumble. Blessed Be!
Well, my sewing machine is actually back in my sewing room. Happy dance, happy dance. I am almost finished making the patterns for the outfits I am going to make and will be able to start cutting them out this afternoon. Which means I will be sewing for the next couple of days, yeah, I haven't actually looked forward to sewing for a long time.
